When you receive the news that your child’s been  diagnosed with a disease, or disability, many thoughts race through your mind.   How am I going to handle this? How is life going to change? Is it something I have done wrong? The questions can seem endless, and nothing can prepare you for what is to come next.  But somehow, you move past these first thoughts and begin the process of learning all that you can about your child and how to care for them.   As time goes on, you begin to realize the nature of your child’s special needs and the ways in which you wish to manage their life forward.


Everyone is different and unique so not every parent will make decisions the same as another.  Deciding on what is best for your child, for your family, is strictly your choice.  No one knows your child as well as you do.  Trusting in your own instincts and intuition is going to take you further in your decision making than any outside advise you can gather.  You can look to family and friends for their thoughts and opinion, and seek out the professional guidance of a doctor, but ultimately, it is up to you to make that final stance.  What am I getting at here? Integration or Segregation in society, what is best for your child?


It all depends on the need of the child.  Is the need severe or mild? Can your child function in the pace of society or is it too overwhelming for them? Are there programs offering to help your child function or does your child need continual medical supervision?  Weighing out what is positive and what is negative for your lifestyle is completely a personal choice for your child. It isn’t an easy decision, it may not be a complete choice one way or the other, what is best could fall somewhere in between.


From early on with my son, Cobi, it was clear that he progressed well when he was influenced by his surroundings, rather than one on one isolated learning.  So when Cobi was in the presence of well functioning children, it encouraged him to learn as the others were.  Many times he had a confused look on his face because what the other children were doing didn’t make much sense to him, but eventually, my son grasped the concept and learned the skill.  When Cobi was surrounded by other children who were exhibiting socially unacceptable behaviour or limited in their motor function, he would regress in his learning.  This doesn’t mean that my son was progressing as well as the average child, because he wasn’t, his focus was all over the place and he needed a worker to keep him on track, so hand over hand guidance in the midst of a conventional learning environment, my son thrived.


On the other hand, I had a friend who’s son wasn’t thriving in society.  The more she tried to include him in daycare and group environments, her son would become increasingly stressed and refuse to interact with his peers. Her son thrived when he as able to learn and grow in a one on one setting, without any background distractions and stressors.  It was hard for her son to participate in social frameworks, he would always go off on his own for playtime, and the more she tried to get her son to interact with the other children, the more he pulled away.


It isn’t always that simple.  There are so  many factors to consider. Behaviours, intellectual ability, physical and medical concerns, the list goes on.  What is best for your child is ultimately the goal and how ever you achieve that and whatever it looks like, is completely up to you, and no one else’s business.  I know families on both sides of the coin.  Some families swear the best thing for their child is to integrate them in the classroom and community activities.  I know other families that decided to segregate their child because it was nearly impossible for their child to function in a group setting.  It was too over stimulating  causing stress, and their child’s behaviours sometimes became disruptive to others.  And as with my son, he does well integrating, with some separation when situations become too stressful or over stimulating.


Participating In Karate Classes

This is my son, Cobi, with Sensei Randy during one of Cobi’s Karate Classes.


I would like to point out that there is an incredible world out there to discover and explore, for anyone in any condition.  How you choose to explore the world is completely up to you, and your child. Balancing out what promotes growth and learning in your child is key.  Everyone is entitled to their dignity and respect as a human being.  Everyone has a right to learn and grow and enjoy the fruits of this earth.  There will always be struggles along the way, no one can avoid that, no matter who they are or where they come from.  But everyone should have the opportunity to live in such a way that promotes the very best in them.


More About The Benefits Of Karate, visit:


Karate - Focus


I’m Shannon, and Thank you for visiting! I hope you found the subject helpful and insightful! Please leave me a comment below, and tell me your thoughts… I would love to hear from you! My Special Life is a place for parents of special needs children, and single parents to receive guidance, encouragement, and support. From an experienced single Mama, of one special needs son and a sassy daughter, both teenagers!