I have been a single parent for over 13 years now and I can tell you, it hasn’t been easy, not one little bit. But if you are reading this and already single, nothing I can say will surprise you. You eat, sleep and breathe it, you live it, every single day. If you are reading this and in the stages right now of going through a separation or divorce, then please read ahead with an open mind.
I can tell you, whether you have children who are of average social acceptance or you are raising a child with a special need of some sort, single parenting is very difficult. There is no one else to share in the responsibility of handling your children, daily chores, adult responsibilities and work. You have no one to consult with when making a decision that directly affects your children and their future. When the children are going through some emotionally difficult times, you are the solo parent to deal with it all. Don’t even get me started on puberty!
For me, raising my children is the biggest joy and the biggest heartache of anything I have endured in my life. I almost lost my son at 1 year of age, dealt with his disability, learned how to handle his OCD and manage his stress. I have had to face my son’s struggle with bullying and difficulties making real friends. My daughter must be considered here because not only does she have to deal with all the drama of growing up a girl, she is facing life as a sibling of a special needs brother. Our life is different than most. We struggle financially, miss out on many of the experiences other families get to enjoy. And I cannot go on without mentioning how incredibly exhausting and draining it is to be a single parent.
But this journey is one of joy and excitement and heartfelt moments, as well. We celebrate everything with enthusiasm and we never overlook the little things. When we laugh, it is from our toes, and we cherish the love between us.
If you are a single parent, keep reading on, this pertains to you too.
Now, I understand that there are exceptional situations that warrant separating from your spouse, like abuse and infidelity. I pass no judgement upon anyone. I’m single, for goodness sake, I can’t possibly judge! But if there is any way you can save your marriage, I highly suggest doing whatever you can to find the love for each other again. I can’t help but look back and think there was more I could have done to try before throwing in the towel.
The emotions of the heart are a powerful energy. It is a never ending circle, revolving around to the mind and back to the heart again, and again, and again. Trying to gain some sense of logic or emotional sense of the situation seems impossible. So my encouragement to you is, look for help, in your church, from a professional, a life coach, a family member or anyone who can relate to what you are going through. Have faith that whatever path you end up taking, will lead you to love, peace and joy.
Here are two books that I recommend reading, whether you are planning to separate from your spouse or already are. I have read both and loved them both.
The first of the two books I read was My Single Mom Life by Angela Thomas. I was only a few years into my separation from my spouse and it resonated with me so deeply. I understood her quirks and logic. I felt her struggle, but I also felt her triumph.
The second of the two books I read was A Time To Dance by Karen Kingsbury . This is a story about a couple who have been together many years and live distantly to each other in their own home. Ready to walk away from their marriage, circumstances lead them on a journey they did not expect.
Click the links for more information about these two books. Happy Reading.